I have several goals for the month of June. On June first, I visualized my grandiose plan and its amazing outcomes. On its second day, I hadn't inched toward any of them. The morning was cool and serene. I tried to write, had nothing to say. I "tried" for two hours. The afternoon arrived, sunny and inviting. There was an entire month to get my world in order, to do the things I want and need to do. Why rush?
As the nagging part of my brain knows all too well, taking one day off leads to taking two days off leads to taking a week...and suddenly I'm wondering how the hell it's already June 30th...
I had to get going. Last night I became a little dynamo if for no other reason than to stop my own nagging.
I find it increasingly difficult keep my mind focused on one thing for more than a few moments. My brain keeps flitting about, dividing itself so many times I need a huge dustpan to re-collect my wits. Yes, yes, I too blame the internet and all its charms and chatter for my tiny attention span. But I willingly give myself over, knowing it will exhaust me.
It's slowly dawning on me that I need to "regroup" more often than I care to admit. Why does this seem such a terrible secret? I'd sooner acknowledge my impressive laziness than to needing a mental and spiritual reboot. "Regrouping" feels weak and wussy. Plus, I don't really know how to do it. I've always sulked and flopped instead of controlling my slumps.
Looks like I have something else to add to my list of June goals.
